The inner self develops when a child is able to engage into a dialogue with itself.
Before it succeeds, it first has to awaken, to reveal itself, to take place between father and mother, to psychologically feed itself on their presence.
Let us not forget that initially the child lives in a fusion relationship with its mother. Besides, it does not differentiate itself from its mother, or other persons or objects from its surroundings.
Gradually – mostly when the environment is conducive – the child will begin to establish the link with itself.
The Ego very soon becomes the centre of all concerns and all desires. For the child, the ideal is itself. It now has a second name: Narcissus. Nonetheless, by subjecting itself to the prohibitions embodied by the parental figures, and mostly by the father, it will perceive in itself a supreme body, which will be come its reference for all purposes. This body is the Ego Ideal.
And thus, narcissism experiences a shift, at least in part, from the Ego to the Ego Ideal.
By abandoning part of its narcissism, the subject accepts the discrepancy between what it is and what it is not.
It can then hold a dialogue with him/herself.
It can also assimilate the social dimension in its psyche. If, for any reason whatsoever, the passage from the Self to the Ego Ideal does not occur appropriately; narcissism will sooner or later manifest itself through:
- Depressive tendencies
- Homosexual tendencies and other fashionable masochistic tendencies
Generally speaking, in such a scenario, social relationships tend to be difficult, superficial and tenuous.
Societal problems tend to be amplified due to the structural frailty of narcissistic personalities.
Indeed, since the cultural environment did not lend itself to it, the personality has not been elaborated, resulting in hampered differentiation and individuation.
And therefore, the confusion of the “All together” prevails.
Such individuals magnify primary statuses, call upon, and utilise, partial drives.
A denial of culture and history is brought around.
A true deconstruction, much to the structuralism’ liking, takes place.
The reference is the model of Deleuze and Gattari, as in their Anti-Oedipus: Capitalism and Schizophrenia, published in French by Editions de Minuit.
Now we can address the question of the inner crisis.
Many young people do not know how to internalise, because they don’t want to “break their heads” by thinking, taking possession of themselves, reflecting upon meaning. Therefore, they exhibit themselves, since transparence is in fashion. They like to believe that one can reach the entire truth of a thing simply by penetrating this thing through and through, as if one could glide through beings and things without stumbling upon insurmountable hindrances, as if beings or things were an extension of the self.
Yet transparence is not truth. Why ? - Because :
- One can only verge on truth.
- Truth reveals itself
- Truth can be inferred
- Truth can be verified when one is lucky enough to attain it, but truth cannot be possessed, because it belongs to the realm of being, not that of possession.
The tendency is to imply that everything can be said, everything can be heard.
By so doing, things public, things personal and even things private are all being mixed up.
People are called by their first names more often than not, people use the familiar pronoun “tu” with each other instead of the respectful form “vous”, people kiss each other. Just like children! They adopt the behaviour that they witness on the television.
But a true relationship is only possible with distance.
If, when necessity arises, one has to mention his/her privacy with his/her doctor, their lawyer or his/her psychologist, an appropriate language can be found, specifically for each situation.
If the gestures of personal and private life are applied to social life, what gestures will be left to express and ritualise friendship, family, domestic life? Some amount of secrecy is always vital to achieve possession of the self.
Besides, our psychologies are traversed by images, representations, fantasies.
Fantasies are mostly unconscious scenarios, scenarios which imply thoughts and actions. Fantasies are not meant to materialise, neither are they supposed to be narrated.
By delineating its physical and psychical spaces, the child learns modesty. It takes possession of itself, it takes possession of its ego, its personality learns to fit within limits.
It learns to conjugate its personality with the three spheres which compose its mental space: the public sphere, the personal sphere, the private sphere. A share of secrecy within each sphere allows the individual to possess him/herself by differentiating between what comes from him/herself and what comes from others.
To say all and to share everything, that is actually the worse fraud against oneself
Because it means:
1) That one openly refuses the symbolism of the father
2) That one remains prisoner of the symbolism of the mother
3) That one remains immersed in a state of fusion
After saying all and sharing everything, individuals realise that they are even more lonely and empty.
The person who tries, under the guise of truth and honesty, to reveal and to show, in an immodest way, things of the most private kind, who tries to draw the other into his/her narcissistic universe, that person is an authentic perverse.
Some typical examples of a perverse media attitude: the old television reality-shows “Lay your cards” (“Bas les masques”) or “Let’s talk about it” (“Ça se discute”) of Delarue.
Guests are invited to narrate their lives along certain themes, which have been previously selected.
This way of proceeding corresponds exactly to that of the voyeur who dissects in suffering and tears, who grabs the private lives of others and tries by endless questioning to know ever and ever more!
Generally speaking, it is a perfectly established fact that television controls inwardness. How ? By taking hold of the imaginative faculty.
Images received through this channel can indeed take control of the functioning of one’s subjective life, invade it and even replace it.
The subject’s consciousness and behaviours are very efficiently guided by the perception of emotions.
And many television shows, including sometimes some of the news channels, elicit a flood of emotions. All these emotions, unlike emotions experienced in real life:
- Bind the imaginative faculty
- Influence behaviours
- Set frameworks
Without the viewers, particularly the young ones, even taking notice ! How many young people with an irreproachable past have admitted to offenses, crimes even, committed with no other motivation than the desire to imitate what they had seen on the television!
The sad truth is, many adults, young people above all, become what they watch!
Incitement of minors to debauch, incitement to crime are still severely punished in the penal code.
But the media, which often induce permissive laws, consider themselves and are considered to be, well beyond the law!
To escape from inner vacuity, one seeks elsewhere
Elsewhere, that is in big get-togethers and parties, in medicines, drugs and sometimes suicide.